Baguette-Leg Marathon Hopeful Sets Sights on Charity Record

By Our Sports Correspondent: Bernie Legg

LAKENHEATH, SUFFOLK – In what organisers are describing as “the most carbohydrate-intensive athletic attempt in British history,” former soldier Corporal Mark Henshaw (ret.) has unveiled the custom baguette prosthetic limbs he plans to use in next month’s Charity Ultra-Marathon.

Henshaw, who lost both legs during active service, said the idea came to him during a late-night supermarket run, when he noticed the “structural integrity and surprising aerodynamic qualities” of a supermarket French stick. Teaming up with a local prosthetics lab—and, reportedly, a very confused artisan baker—he commissioned a pair of easily attachable, bakery-fresh baguette legs.

Army leggy

At a press conference held outside Greggs, Henshaw explained his motivation with military bluntness. “People run marathons dressed as rhinos and telephone boxes. I figured two baguettes for legs wasn’t that outrageous. And if it makes people donate more, then crack on.”

Early test runs have apparently gone “remarkably well and charities have already expressed delight at his campaign, with donations topping £42,000 before the first official training mile. A spokesperson for Veterans Forward called the stunt “a perfect mix of bravery, innovation, and complex carbohydrates.”

If all goes to plan, Henshaw hopes to break the unofficial record for “Fastest Marathon Completed on Baked Prosthetics,” currently held by a man who ran the 2019 London Marathon wearing bloomer running shoes.

Asked what comes next, Henshaw hinted at further bakery-based innovations. “If these work,” he said, “I might try crumpet elbow pads.”