Tiny 75cm ambulance races through rural Suffolk, baffling residents with miniature emergencies.

By Our Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred

Residents of rural Suffolk are becoming accustomed to hearing the faintest nee-naw known to British emergency services, followed by the sight of what appears to be a toy ambulance hurtling down country lanes at improbable speeds. The vehicle, estimated by multiple eyewitnesses to be “no bigger than a remote-controlled buggy”, has reportedly been clocked zipping past hedgerows, horse boxes, and at least one Robin Reliant with full blue lights flashing.

Suffolk Constabulary confirmed on Tuesday that they have received a number of calls about the miniature emergency vehicle. A spokesperson stated that officers had attempted to intercept the tiny ambulance but were “outpaced by its surprisingly nippy acceleration” and forced to abandon the pursuit when it disappeared beneath a cattle grid.

Your ambulance won’t be long

Local resident Mandy Plover, 63, described seeing the micro-medical machine on her way to the Co-op. “It went right between my boots,” she said. “Didn’t even slow down. Sirens going like a wasp trapped in a crisp packet.” Others reported similar close encounters, including a farmer who claims the ambulance overtook his tractor on the B1123 before darting into a rabbit hole “with real authority”.

Speculation about the purpose of the pint-sized paramedic unit is rife. Some believe it may belong to a local model railway enthusiast “who’s taken things too far”, while others suggest it could be part of a secret NHS pilot scheme aimed at treating vertically challenged patients.

Meanwhile, sightings continue. The latest report placed the tiny ambulance racing toward Halesworth at dawn, sirens tinkling, lights shimmering like a festive LED bauble — presumably en route to yet another mysterious miniature emergency in need of urgent assistance.