MIDDLETON, SUFFOLK — What was meant to be a road safety innovation has become an unintentional attraction — and a hazard — as a giant 22-foot convex traffic mirror installed on a notoriously sharp bend near Middleton has led to a surge in local accidents.

Security Correspondent: Ben Twarters

Installed last week by Suffolk Highways at a cost of £47,000, the enormous circular mirror was designed to give drivers a clearer view around the bend, long considered an accident hotspot. But residents say the only thing it’s enhanced is their ability to admire themselves from a distance of 300 yards.

“It’s like driving past a funfair mirror from a dystopian future,” said local farmer Ken Bletchley, who has witnessed three minor collisions and one emotional breakdown since its unveiling. “I nearly put the tractor into a ditch yesterday when I caught a glimpse of myself waving.”

Mirror, signal, manoeuvre

Motorists report being so mesmerised by the sheer scale and clarity of the mirror — and their own distorted reflections — that they forget to steer altogether. One motorist described seeing “an entire lorry look like a curly wurly,” moments before it veered into a hedge.

“The intent was good,” said a Suffolk Council spokesperson, “but we may have underestimated the human weakness for vanity and novelty.”

The mirror is also rumoured to have briefly blinded a passing cyclist during sunrise, and a local fox was seen barking at its own reflection for over twenty minutes on Tuesday.

A review is now under way, with suggestions ranging from “putting a tarp over it” to “replacing it with a much smaller, less sexy mirror.” In the meantime, warning signs reading “DO NOT ADMIRE YOURSELF WHILE DRIVING” have been posted nearby.

No fatalities have occurred — unless you count self-esteem.