The ‘Wheelie Bin’ sex pest, terrorising Lowestoft has struck again. This time, attacking an innocent bin ‘round the back of the Spicy Fried Chicken Shop in the High Street.
Luckily, the serial offender, who is believed to be behind several attacks.on the bin community over recent weeks, was caught on camera committing the assault.
Police say that the suspect is a blue wheelie bin, approximately 18 years old, with a distinctive white and black label stuck to its lid.
Witness ‘talking rubbish’
One member of the bin community who did not wish to be identified,.itself a victim of the attacker, told this reporter, “Trash talk, trash talk, trash talk. Trash talk, trash talk, trash talk. Trash talk, trash talk, trash talk. Yada, yada, yada. Blah, blah, blah.”
Asked whether they thought Police were doing enough to protect wheelie bins in the neighbourhood, the victim, who survived the Wheelie Bin sex pest’s assault by repeatedly opening and slamming closed it’s lid until it fled, replied. “Trash talk, trash talk, trash talk. Blah, blah, blah. Trash talk, trash talk, trash talk. Yada, yada, yada.”
If you have any information regarding the identity of the Wheelie Bin sex pest,.or would just like to have faulty white goods collected from your home, please contact: email@example.com