Britain caught in heating conundrum

Britain keeps the heating on

Britain can’t decide if it should turn off the heating, it has emerged.

Although it is nearly summer, temperatures are struggling to reach double figures and women insist on keeping the heating on for “just a little while longer”.

But hardy men, who have to pay all the household energy bills, can’t believe the boiler has been heating the house constantly since the last warm day back in October.


Steve Walshe, a man from Woodbridge in Suffolk, said: “My missus keeps turning up the thermostat even though we’re nearly in MAY.

“It’s all very well for her, but she doesn’t have to pay the bills – and it’s unnatural to have the radiators on so late in the year.”

But Lorraine Fisher, 34, a woman, said: “I really can’t stand the cold. It affects my joints and that’s not good for my sinuses.

“I have agreed a compromise with my husband of reducing the temperature from my normal 22 degrees to a just-about-bearable 20 degrees.

“And when I say compromise, what I mean is he has to accept it or we’re getting divorced.”


Meanwhile, it has emerged that the only people celebrating the continued miserable weather are energy company bosses.

Energy finance expert Anna Countance said: “Energy suppliers are jubilant. They budget for Britain to turn off the heating in late February or, at worst, early March.

“But here we are at the end of April and everybody still has the thermostat turned up.”

Suffolk Gazette weather correspondent Gale Fawcett said there was no prospect of it warming up until the end of next week.

“It’s just bloody cold, wet and miserable,” she explained.

* * * * * *

Click here to support the Suffolk Gazette Beer Fund!
[olimometer id=1]

Join our witty Suffolk Gazette Facebook page community.