Paramilitary group to invade Norfolk, enslave its people to work in Suffolk

Suffolk Liberation Front
By Doug Trench, Defence Editor

A new paramilitary force called the Suffolk Liberation Front is arming itself so it can invade Norfolk and capture its people to work as slaves, it has emerged.

The group has quickly attracted support since plans were officially announced for East Anglian devolution, with a mayor and even a cabinet running many regional services.

But while welcoming devolution the SLF, whose members are pictured above marching in west Suffolk, realised it meant someone from Norfolk could end up ruling over Suffolk – a situation that could never be allowed.

Now the group is readying itself for a campaign to invade Norfolk and enslave its population for use as free labour in Suffolk, which will help out our farmers greatly.

An SLF spokesman has written to the Suffolk Gazette to lay out its plans. The Editor did not believe the SLF threat of violence if he refused to publish it, but thought he’d better print it… just in case.

“Dear Sir,

I am writing to you about the formation of the Suffolk Liberation Front.

Following yesterday’s announcement on Radio Suffolk that devolution for Suffolk and Norfolk is going ahead with our own mayor and even government, we cannot bear to see anyone from Norfolk to rule over us.

We have therefore mobilised and already have agents with a foothold in the Norfolk town of Great Yarmouth posing as a business, the same people have got a Yarmouth girl to turn traitor and she’s being trained in a house in Suffolk right now.

Our intention is to take over Norfolk, strip what assets they have (if any) and then use the population as slave labour when we finally get devolution. For the residents of Norfolk nothing will change, for us we intend on defending our Suffolk borders, throwing all illegal Norfolk-bred people out and putting a barbed wire fence around Ipswich and using it as an internment camp. Bury St Edmunds is to be our capital; we shall be completely self-sustaining here.

The SLF intends on a full campaign of violence to achieve this goal, and we demand press coverage or we shall burn down the Gazette offices (I don’t have an office – Ed).

Our motto is ‘WE ARE SUFFOLK’. We speak for the people of Suffolk and encourage all farmers to join us. We will provide you with the slaves you need once we take power.”

The Suffolk Gazette will monitor developments, but advises residents close to the Norfolk border to ready their air raid shelters.