A Suffolk woman has warned people not to buy a border collie when they are drunk, after making a terrible mistake last week.
Lorraine Fisher, 34, from Saxmundham, woke up on Saturday morning to find a cow sitting on her sofa, mooing loudly.
The call centre manager had been on the lash after work on Friday and vaguely remembers agreeing to buy a border collie from a bloke in the pub for £200.
“He seemed like a nice man,” Lorraine recalled. “Next thing I know I’m waking up on Saturday morning with a raging hangover – and a bloody cow in the sitting room.
“It is clearly not a border collie but in my inebriated state, it was an easy mistake to make.”
Lorraine now hopes to find the owner of the cow, which is costing her an arm and a leg in milk.
Local potato farmer Maurice Piper, who also keeps a few cows in a field outside Saxmundham, has reported one is missing and will check over Lorraine’s specimen.
Meanwhile, police say if it is found the cow was stolen and sold to Lorraine, they will press charges.
A spokesman said: “We’d like to speak to the gentleman from the pub, who is known only as Russell.”
** Hat tip for this story idea to multiple internet sources (memes) and to Twitter user @Hipchickadee. We’re just milking it!
It’s an easy mistake to make. We’ve all done it. Woman in Tuddenham bought a Jumper off Ebay turns out it was kangaroo. You can’t keep that kind of animal in a council bungalow. She only gave the seller a one * for prompt delivery but is still waiting for a returns slip to send it back. Another example of taking advantage of Suffolk folk. She should have gone to Specsavers.
Laughed so much I cried.. hope they track down russel the rustler so I can buy him a pint. Not forgetting the pain Mister piper the potato farmer who presumably grows maris pipers , has suffered through the loss of his cow which is now happy to eat dog food and will be demanding a couch.
This needs to be publicised more widely. It’s one more appalling example of the evils scams affecting Suffolk people. Hopefully once we leave the EU there will be less of this type of thing. I feel sorry for Lorraine.