Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Dominic Cummings quits to become CEO of Specsavers

Cummings announces his Specsavers deal
Cummings announces his Specsavers deal (Photo: BBC)

Boris Johnson’s key adviser, Dominic Cummings has quit Downing Street to take over as CEO of eyesight retail giant Specsavers.

Mr Cummings drove 25 miles for his final interview this week and was given the all-clear to run the multi-million-pound empire.

He accepted the offer, but only after turning down a role with Land Rover, where he planned to promote a new model that lets you drive from London to Durham and back again without having to stop for fuel.

It is believed Mr Cummings will leave Downing Street by Christmas and take up his new position in the New Year. He will make ends meet in the meantime with his energetic Phil Collins tribute act.

Dominic Cummings Specsavers

Political commentator Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “This is a big blow to Boris Johnson, but great news for Specsavers.

“It ensures they now have a friendly face at the top of the company and staff can’t wait for him to start.”

Mr Cummings’ first task is to create a new advertising slogan. Insiders say he has already decided: “Should’ve gone to Barnard Castle” has a nice ring to it.

He was seen later today walking out of Number 10 with a cardboard box, which did not seem big enough for all the skeletons he kept buried there.

Should’ve gone to Dirty Old Goat

That was the message for those Brits who foolishly didn’t do any Christmas shopping at the Suffolk Gazette’s mug partner, Dirty Old Goat mugs. Everyone knows the mugs make ideal gifts and stocking fillers. Visit the website or buy products direct, below…

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