Pakefield Building contractor’s wife is B.J. Champion
Bit of a squash at McDonalds as fans chew over new McMallow Burger
RSPCA turns a blind eye to high street ‘cat eye removals’ at Pets at Home
Slow death awaits bored residents of Acton, Suffolk
Amazon business idea turns to sawdust
Thomas the Tank Engine – The beloved blue locomotive of children’s TV fame, has been reportedly kidnapped
Elton John hires Suffolk tiler to revamp back passage
United Kingdom in decline: Time to ‘switch off and plug it back in’
Guns ‘n’ hoses: Army refuels tank battalion at Sainsbury’s petrol pump
Flying blind: British Airways to fund 200 blind and partially sighted trainee pilots in unprecedented diversity drive
Leeds Roma vandals make a mess of community relations
Who’s Next for England Football Coach? A Lineup of Legendary Losers
Deep shag on special offer at C*nty Carpet shop
High hopes for Refugee Olympic Team’s pole vaulters
Art Garfunkel paints bridge over troubled water blue
Brits plump for Russian rather than Islamic takeover of UK – Poll
Rod Stewart to star in remake of cult horror, Beetlejuice
Spain V England Football: A Lesson from History
All out of Zebra? Halal Convenience Store has you covered
Starmer’s dad was a poo lorry driver
Defeated Tory MP Jeremy Hackett will miss high office
