Naked celebrities spotted in Framlingham; locals baffled, Ed Sheeran possibly involved.

By Our Entertainment Editor: Arthur Pint

Residents of the quiet Suffolk town of Framlingham say they are “utterly bewildered” after a spate of reports claiming naked and semi-clad celebrities have been spotted wandering the streets in the dead of night.

According to eyewitnesses, the otherwise peaceful market town—best known as the home of pop megastar Ed Sheeran—has recently become the unlikely stage for what one resident described as “a sort of celebrity nudist parade.” Among those allegedly seen “frolicking and carrying on” were former University Challenge host Jeremy Paxman, ex-TV presenter Philip Schofield, and fitness enthusiast Davina McCall.

Testimonies

One local, Mrs Beryl Mott, 68, told the Suffolk Gazette: “It was gone 3am when I looked out and saw what I thought was a streaker. Then I realised it was Jeremy Paxman doing lunges in the car park behind the Co-op.”

Another resident claimed that Schofield was spotted “wearing only a scarf and a smile” near the duck pond, while McCall was seen “encouraging onlookers to join in a spontaneous circuit-training session” in the market square at around 4am.

Police have issued a polite but firm reminder that “Suffolk isn’t Love Island” and that public nudity, however high-profile the participants, “is generally frowned upon.”

Speculation has inevitably turned to Ed Sheeran, whose sprawling Suffolk estate lies just outside the town. However, there is no evidence linking him to the nocturnal antics. A spokesperson for the singer declined to comment, saying only that “Ed was fully clothed and asleep at the time.”

A Serious Warning

Meanwhile, Framlingham Town Council says it is considering erecting new signage to deter celebrity streaking. As one councillor put it drily, “We appreciate the attention, but this isn’t Glastonbury—there’s a limit to how much naked networking we can take.”

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