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Triple lock on MPs salaries will stay, Chancellor confirms

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By Markymark

Chancellor Philip Hammond has confirmed that the triple lock on MPs salaries will be retained while everyone else suffers.

The latest government u-turn has been welcomed by all parties, and will likely avert any leadership challenge from Boris Johnson or Michael Gove for at least three days.

Mr Hammond took time out from opening a food bank in his Runnymede and Weybridge constituency to confirm the news.

“Conservative MPs and our best friends forever in the DUP recognise the need for stable government at this critical time.” he said.

“Retaining the triple lock will ensure that a second, third or fourth home will remain achievable for ordinary, hardworking members of parliament. The shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, has raised the matter several times with me and I know he supports the redistribution of wealth, even if it is being redistributed back to MPs.

“I also have his copy of Mao’s little red book which George Osborne has confirmed is about to be serialised in the London Evening Standard.”

The triple lock on MPs salaries will guarantee that they increase every year by the higher of inflation, average earnings or a minimum of 2.5%. This follows a recent £1,049 increase less than two years after MPs reluctantly awarded themselves a 10% pay rise.

Mr Hammond confirmed that the triple lock would be funded through the planting of magic money trees in Jeremy Corbyn and Emily Thornberry’s Islington constituencies.

MPs currently trouser around £76,000 a year.

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