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Quality row over Suffolk village houses

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By Ruth Tyler, Construction Correspondent

The quality of building work in a picturesque Suffolk village has been called into question after many houses were seen to be suffering from crazy subsidence-style defects.

Properties in Lavenham seem to have moved over the years, with window frames, beams and even roofs appearing to deviate from what should be perfectly straight lines.

Amazingly, people in the quaint town do not seem concerned that their houses are about to fall down.

Last night UKIP claimed the influx of builders from Eastern Europe was clearly to blame.

A party insider said: “It does not take an expert to see these properties have not been built to the highest of British standards. We have many builders from Poland and elsewhere now working in Suffolk, and they are taking the jobs of British craftsmen.

“There is no way British builders would have allowed such a finish.”

But Lavenham Town Council leader Anthony Smythe-Farquar said UKIP were simply missing the point. “These houses were not built by Polish immigrant workers in the past 18 months,” he said.

“We are one of the UK’s finest and most visited medieval villages, and these houses are actually more than 500 years old. The fact they are still standing at all shows just how well they were built all those years ago. And anyway, Polish builders, and builders from anywhere else in Eastern Europe for that matter, are very good.”

A spokesman for UKIP added: “OK, then. So maybe the building are over 500 years old. However, the builders probably came from the Ottoman Empire.”

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16 Comments

  1. Rob Dawson

    October 9, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    Hasn’t anyone realied the obvious, and instead of blaming our European neighbors look a little closer to home, just to the north?

    • The Editor

      October 9, 2015 at 4:24 pm

      Dear Mr Dawson,

      Of course – our friends in Norfolk! Hadn’t thought of them!

      Regards,
      The Editor

  2. F'tang Skidmark

    March 1, 2015 at 11:24 am

    It is more difficult to build houses with meandering lines.I don’t suppose Polish workers understand the term “wonky”.If they had been there to build them 500 years ago there would have been howls of complaints that the rooves and floors were too square and that the workforce could not do what had been instructed.

  3. K Brown

    February 18, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    I hold no torch for UKIP but this is so obviously a spoof that I can’t believe it has passed anyone’s sniff-test – the big clue is that no-one in UKIP is named, it just says ‘a UKIP insider’.

    • Raphael C Farquah

      October 9, 2015 at 10:18 am

      It is?! OH MY GOD!!

  4. V Ellerby

    February 17, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    Does no one get satire anymore?

  5. Evie H

    February 17, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    Anyone who can’t see this for what it is shouldn’t be allowed to vote for anyone, it; is clearly as Rob DH says spoof journalism, as if anyone could be so stupid as to not realise how old these buildings are

    • Evie H

      February 17, 2015 at 7:56 pm

      Sorry Chris DH, I referred to you as Rob

  6. Chris DH

    February 17, 2015 at 4:46 pm

    This is a piece of spoof journalism to smear UKIP. Anyone falling for this must be a complete dork.

    • Dan

      February 17, 2015 at 6:01 pm

      YOU ————————————-> The Point.
      “And that’s a bad miss”

      • Raphael C Farquah

        October 9, 2015 at 10:22 am

        Nailed it. It still shocks me how many people take this seriously. Morons.

    • V Ellerby

      February 17, 2015 at 8:41 pm

      I don’t think anyone needs to smear UKIP, they’re doing a very good job of destroying themselves without any extra help. :)

  7. dai wright

    February 17, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    I just hope enough sensible people see posts like this before May. If UKIP ever get to hold even the balance of power this country is finished❗❗

  8. Lizzie Christian

    February 17, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    What a load of typically UKIP Codswallop!! Anyone can see that these beautiful Medieval Building are 500 year old and subsiding. We have similar building like this in Winchester and one being a cafe upstairs and you can feel and see the floors and walls of the blind have moved 8 er the years. When you place your hand on the walls you can feel the history!! These wonderful robust Medieval building have stood the time and ooze with the history of Sudbury. Read the Archives.

  9. Janet Wright

    February 17, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    How old are these houses, how long have Polish immigrants been in England? Well I certainly won’t be voting UKIP after comments like this

  10. Jonathon B

    February 17, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    Those bloody Anglo Saxons coming here taking our jobs! i have never heard something so stupid in my life, Would expect anything more from UKIP

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