Friday, March 29, 2024

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Shock as train arrives on time

By Casey Jones, Railways Correspondent

The East Anglian rail network was thrown into chaos today when a Greater Anglia train arrived on time.

The 7.49 InterCity service from Ipswich made it all the way through to London Liverpool Street with no delays whatsoever. Not even the dreaded freight trains, train faults, track and signal faults or “disruptive passengers” could slow it down.

Passengers watched the Greater Anglia Twitter feed in amazement as staff repeatedly claimed there were “no issues to report at present”.

As the train approached London, many of those on board made emotional calls to their friends and loved ones to inform them of the shock journey.

Train arrives on time

One commuter, Amy Squashed, 22, a freelance nuclear physicist from Haverhill, told the Suffolk Gazette: “It was highly charged in my carriage, people were screaming in excitement. To think this has not happened since 1994 – we were so lucky to be involved.”

A spokesman for Abellio Greater Anglia, which is trialing some Swiss trains, said: “We work hard to make sure all our trains are late or broken down. We take news of any on-time train seriously and will undertake a full investigation.”

Ipswich MP Ben Gummer, who has campaigned for improved rail services to the capital, welcomed the news, adding: “When the carriages are repainted, and the seats have new covers, then we can REALLY celebrate.”

This is the age of the train: 94
This is the age of the train: 94

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