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Neville Chamberlain returns from Germany, claims ‘peace in our time’

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Peace in our time


By Doug Trench, Defence Editor

Neville Chamberlain flew home from Germany today, waved a white piece of paper and declared: “We have peace in our time.”

Just hours after an extreme far-right party won its first seats in the Bundestag since before World War Two, Mr Chamberlain reassured Britain and the rest of Europe that nothing could possibly go wrong.

As he stood on the steps of his plane at Heathrow Airport, Mr Chamberlain waved a piece of paper and confirmed triumphantly that the Czech Republic, and especially Poland, had absolutely nothing to fear.

He maintained that immigrants or “anyone who looked remotely dodgy” would remain safe and welcome in Germany.

And he stressed that there was absolutely no mad desire to rebuild the Luftwaffe and send it on foreign expeditions.

“I have met with the leaders of the nationalist Alternative for Germany Party (AfD) and can confirm they are a nice, friendly bunch.

“They assure me there are no plans for a mass visit to Poland, and religious minorities have nothing to fear.”

Mr Chamberlain claims that nothing in history supports the theory that the rise of the far right in Germany is anything at all to be concerned about.

“People worry unnecessarily. No one would believe an extreme nationalist party would win its first seats in Germany, then manipulate things a little to seize power, then invade all its neighbours and murder millions.

“It’s fanciful and you just have to believe what the nice AfD has signed on my piece of paper, which I am still waving around for all to see.”

The AfD won 94 seats in Germany’s Bundestag federal parliament after winning nearly 13% of the country’s vote.

Angela Merkel returned to power for a fourth term despite losing a considerable slice of support.

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