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Aristocrat loses dignity in Morrisons

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Somerleyton Hall

A Suffolk aristocrat has launched a public appeal after losing her dignity in a branch of the Morrisons supermarket.

Lady Somerleyton had hoped to pop into the store in Pakefield and grab some provisions before anyone noticed.

But to her horror, when she got home to her sprawling 5,000 acre Somerleyton Estate a little later, she realised her dignity had gone.

An upper class pal said: “Poor Lara didn’t have time to pop into the closest branch of Waitrose, which is 25 miles away in Saxmundham.

“So she threw caution to the wind and – and this pains me to say it out loud – she went into Morrisons instead.

“She grabbed what she could as quickly as possibly, hoping not to speak to or, horror of horrors, touch any common people.

“Then she sped off in the Range Rover back to the estate, near Lowestoft.”

The chum revealed that it was only when Lady Somerleyton had finished unloading the shopping that she realised her dignity had disappeared.

Her husband, Hugh – Lord Somerleyton – has now offered a reward for the safe return of his wife’s dignity from Morrisons.

“My wife and I are devastated to have lost it, and therefore I have decided to offer a cash reward for its safe return, should someone find it,” Lord Somerleyton said in a statement.

The dignity is described as being very posh, rather wealthy and smelling of expensive perfume.

Anyone who finds it can contact the Suffolk Gazette and we will be delighted to pass it on to her ladyship, while trousering the reward money for ourselves.

The news comes very soon after the forgetful aristocrat lost a family heirloom on a shopping trip.

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