Fax machine can’t believe it’s still stealing a living

office fax machine

 

An office fax machine has revealed it hasn’t done a stroke of work for ten years but still gets paid.

Lorraine Fisher, a grey Panasonic FP701, turns up every day at an estate agency in Suffolk but hasn’t done anything useful since printing out a contract sent by a solicitor back in 2007.

“I’m basically stealing a living,” Lorraine admitted. “I sit here and try and look busy every day of the week, and thankfully no-one has noticed I do sod all.

“They still pay me, so I’m hoping I last another 15 years before I can retire.”

She explained that office life used to be very different in the 1990s and early noughties, when she was very busy.

“Everyone wanted to use me back then. Most were amazed at how hi-tech I was and delighted in the strange squealing noise I used to make while I connected, eventually, with another fax machine somewhere in the world.

“I soon saw the writing on the wall when people started using email all the time, or scanners and electronic signatures. I was a has-been, but to my amazement they kept me.

“A man comes once a year to check I am all right and give me some new ink, even though I haven’t used a drop since the last time.”

News of Lorraine’s incredible survival comes as the NHS has been told to scrap all its fax machines.

Meanwhile, the Suffolk Gazette revealed recently how a new-fangled telephonic device that you can’t break or lose was taking the nation by storm.

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